******************************************************
"The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want."
******************************************************
"80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read."
******************************************************
"Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor’s course."
******************************************************
"The night before the English History mid-term, your biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria."
******************************************************
"If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book."
******************************************************
"If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live."
******************************************************
"To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States."
******************************************************
"You can lead a boy to college but you can’t make him think."
******************************************************
"Of course there’s a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don’t take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates…."
******************************************************
"Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it’s in Hamburger Technology."
******************************************************
"When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible. College isn’t the place to go for ideas."
******************************************************
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. (Clown Prince of American Humor, 1975)"
******************************************************
"They are so afraid we shall break down, and you know the reputation of the college is at stake, for the question is, can girls get a college degree without injuring their health."
******************************************************
"Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges."
******************************************************
"A college is a place where pebbles are polished and diamonds dimmed."
******************************************************
"The more studying you did for the exam, the less sure you are as to which answer they want."
******************************************************
"80% of the final exam will be based on the one lecture you missed and the one book you didn’t read."
******************************************************
"Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except study for that instructor’s course."
******************************************************
"The night before the English History mid-term, your biology instructor will assign 200 pages on planaria."
******************************************************
"If you are given an open-book exam, you will forget your book."
******************************************************
"If you are given a take-home exam, you will forget where you live."
******************************************************
"To those of you who received honors, awards and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States."
******************************************************
"You can lead a boy to college but you can’t make him think."
******************************************************
"Of course there’s a lot of knowledge in universities: the freshmen bring a little in; the seniors don’t take much away, so knowledge sort of accumulates…."
******************************************************
"Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it’s in Hamburger Technology."
******************************************************
"When reviewing your notes before an exam, the most important will be illegible. College isn’t the place to go for ideas."
******************************************************
"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. (Clown Prince of American Humor, 1975)"
******************************************************
"They are so afraid we shall break down, and you know the reputation of the college is at stake, for the question is, can girls get a college degree without injuring their health."
******************************************************
"Colleges are like old-age homes, except for the fact that more people die in colleges."
******************************************************
"A college is a place where pebbles are polished and diamonds dimmed."
******************************************************
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